Friday, May 16, 2014
In our continuing effort to establish ourselves as serious commentators about the end times, we bring you Harley Brown, a candidate for governor of the great state of Idaho.
Except he really wants to be president. President of what, you ask? Why, the United States, of course. God came to him in a vision while he was living in Fat Jack’s basement and told him that he wants him to be President of the You Nighted States.
And you know what?
He’s got a letter from an African Bishop that says that’s what God wants.
What does that have to do with running for governor, you ask?
Simple, you moran. He needs the practice.
So let it be written.
So let it be done.
Here’s Harley Brown, as described by the New York Daily News.
“I don’t like political correctness. Can I say this? It sucks! It’s bondage,” Brown, who had a cigar firmly placed into his shirt pocket the whole time, told the cameras.
“I’m going for the vote of the real people out there, not these bondage-type who don’t have a clue about picking up strangers at night and hauling them God-knows-where,” he added.
After claiming he had “a Master’s in raisin’ hell,” he told viewers his plan to seize power.
“You bind those evil spirits behind the feds with the blood of Jesus, the name of Jesus, the power of entombment of the Holy Spirit, the power of agreement, the word of God. Take air superiority, and then roll in with your tanks on the ground, like … lawsuits. Blitzkrieg!”
Only in America.
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