Open Thread about anything except Shellie Zimmerman

Saturday, September 28, 2013

This is our 692nd post.

Namaste to all who enter here.

125 Responses to Open Thread about anything except Shellie Zimmerman

  1. ay2z says:

    and a Ray Parker Jr.classic

  2. ay2z says:

    Happy Halloween1

  3. neveragain says:

    @ trained observer.. i love to make people happy so i am so happy to make you laugh so hysterically…i am also very honest ..i don’t lie ..i am not being sarcastic….. clicked on the article but i did not even read it thoroughly..i just brushed through it and i did not read the comment……i said i feel like an idiot…that was my way of saying my bad… go ahead and laugh…. i am very hard on myself for a lot of things…but This???? pssh

    i am happy i got you too laugh so much…

  4. Rachael says:

    not sure where people are reading/ posting so I posted this on the new thread too but here is some news that made me happy:

    • Malisha says:


    • Dave says:

      Don’t hold your breath waiting for them to drop their contracts with Cabela’s, Dunham’s or Walmart.

    • cielo62 says:

      Rachael~ LOL! This is SO funny! As well as the mini temper tantrums in the comments section! A private company like Visa can deny services to whomever they please. But all of a sudden, THAT doesn’t matter? HAHAHA!


      • Rachael says:

        yes, hypocrisy at its finest

      • neveragain says:

        Temper tantrums….you think anyone one here is a kid??…temper tantrum where…please enlighten me…..

        • Rachael says:

          Did you read the comments? Read them and enlighten yourself.

        • Malisha says:

          I think that refers to temper tantrums in the comment section of the article itself, not comments here ABOUT it.

          • Rachael says:

            Exactly. Did you read them? It’s hilarious. These are the same people who scream about private entities and being able to decide what they want to do, but with this private entity doesn’t want to be a part of it and outfit well yeah temper tantrums. Total hypocrisy. But I also think, based on previous postings, someone may have been just trying to start something here.

          • cielo62 says:

            Malisha- yes, that’s what I meant.

            Sent from my iPad

          • neveragain says:

            oh ok my bad……now I feel like an idiot

          • Malisha says:

            Neveragain, don’t feel like an idiot. An idiot would continue to insist on his point regardless of what it turned out to be!

        • cielo62 says:

          Never again- I was referring the comments in the article that Rachael had posted. A subsidiary of Visa decided to drop a gun retailer as a customer because, well, because they sell guns. The comments there were hysterical about suing Visa, etc etc. Pure fanatical stupidity.

          Sent from my iPad

          • Trained Observer says:

            cielo — I think it’s abundantly clear what you (along with others) were referring to, and, yes, beyond hysterical. First saw on the earlier thread … but got another laugh here … especially with the “tantrum” sidebar as an add-on snicker. Thanks, again, Racheal.

          • Trained Observer says:

            Plus, I agree Rachael. That “period” post won’t be forgotten.

  5. neveragain says:

    the guy knew what he was doing when he signed away baby Veronica…I believe he is lying about being tricked……a lie is a lie ………but some lies you can understand the reason behind them……but when people tell crazy lies……….i don’t make excuses for their them…lies that can be easily proven to be a lie…farfetched statements===> you are sick…a sick individual……..

  6. Malisha says:

    I rescued a saxophone but only THEN realized that it will take more cleaning than I know how to do. If anyone on this blog wants it, do let me know. I’ll let anybody but Shellie Zimmerman have it.

  7. Deborah Moore says:

    Good Sunday Morning.
    Beautiful fallish weather here. Will get out and play in the yard. Still some cleaning up of dead summer stuff. Out with the old and in with the new. Yay.
    Hope everyone is outside having fun too.

    • Morn Deborah – Thanks for the pancakes yesterday! The gf and I are going to get on our bikes now and try to burn them off. you and everyone have a great day!!

      Thank you Fred and Crane – just enjoy your site so much.

  8. JJ says:

    Christian Science Monitor headline: “As House Republicans debate, no sign government shutdown can be avoided”
    Repubs are only going to fund government if Obamacare is defunded. Democrats will not allow Obamacare to be defunded. Stalemale!

    How will a government shutdown impact us? How will give in first? I do believe this Republican refusal to fund Obamacare that was passed by Congress and pronounced legal by the Supreme Court will help the Democrats win elections in 2014.

    • Kate says:

      I don’t know if anyone is interested in child case law, but I have a great deal of interest in this case. The baby was finally taken from her father and whisked away by the people that were adopting her. The father, Dusten Brown, signed away his parental rights under false pretenses while on active duty. When he found out what had happened, he immediately went to his commanding officer and a lengthy court battle ensued for him to regain his parental rights and his child. Unfortunately, the courts upheld the adoption and forced Mr. Brown to hand the baby, that was living with him for 2 years, back over to the adoptive parents.

      I think this is a great injustice, not only for him, but for this child who was taken away from a loving home with her biological parent. This is a man who served and is serving this country, only to come home and have his child taken from him. I understand once you sign papers like this there are legal ramifications; however, I think there should be some type of compassion and understanding on the part of this couple. Instead they decided it is best to take her away from her father, step mother and sister. This is a great example of the greed and self serving interest that people in this country have when it comes to life. This child is not an object, but a person, a living being that is not to be possessed or coveted. There are so many children in this country that have no one, that are sitting in foster homes, or wards of the state with no one to love them or care for them. THis was not the only child in the world and I think it is a shameful act to do such a thing. If you agree please support this child being at home with her biological father and family.

      Here’s a petition from

      • Hi, Kate.

        Thank you for the update on Veronica. I agree that it’s an important case worthy of discussion and several people have already disagreed with each other regarding the way the adoption has been handled.

        I will be wading into it soon.

        For future reference, know that word press automatically diverts every new comment into a pending file if it contains 2 or more links. I do make a point of periodically checking the file and approving comments held up in moderation, but I’m not perfect and sometimes a few hours or more may pass before I do that.

        The pending file also contains a lot of spam. I usually get several hundred spam comments each day too so the review process can be time consuming.

        If you can make multiple comments each containing a single link instead of one comment with multiple links you can evade moderation.


        • Trained Observer says:

          It’s distressing to see this child, or any child, used as a Ping-Pong ball as federal and state courts spar over their turf and special interest groups jump in to bolster their own agenda.


    • Two sides to a story says:

      I agree.

  9. Good evening everyone! We are back, after being away much of the day, cannot wait to get caught up!

  10. Trained Observer says:

    Heading out for the evening now, but first … yet another reason to steer clear of Seminole County , Fla. , You can’t make this stuff up.

    • Kate says:

      LOL that was intentional. If you are with your friend and you know they are not within site or “taking care of business” why would you start firing into the brush. Then again, sometimes I have to wonder about people.

    • Rachael says:

      I swear, there is really something wrong with the state of Florida. I used to think I hated Texas, but it looks pretty good right now compared to Florida. A state of loonies!!

    • a2nite says:

      Not an accident; it’s negligence. We need to stop using their oopsie language.

    • colin black says:

      Nah Im sorry alternate Universe Im so not buying this its a pure wind up as they say in Ecosse Scotland .

      You expect me for one there actually a Family with the surname RAPE? that has elected to keep that an not change it.

      Or is that a shortened version if so what was there original sur name RAPEANPILLAGERS.

      So the story is that dudete called rape goes into the bushes

      Three Guys involved in this incident an all three of there surnames refer to either an sexuall assault…Rape…Or a description of Drugs ,,,Downer…An Hemphill.

      They stop because RAPE wants to go into the woods to piss or relieve his trouser snake?

      Whilst doing so the other two dudetes allegedly spot a large SNAKE on the road.

      An then knowing there friend had just entered the woods to drain his trouser snake..

      They hear a noise in said woods an decide hey we just saw a snake in the road minding its own business slithering away an not bothering us or anything ekse for that matter.

      Bat it was an easy shot exposed on tarmac no camoflage even eejits like us could kill a snake slithering across a road with ease

      But know they have a better idea lets wait until it enters the woods where our alleged mate we are out on our date rape is fondelling his trouser snake.

      Hear him an assume its a silent snake whom never makes a noise or snaps a twig as it glides through life..

      But lets forget all that an assume that what sounds like a stoned grizzly crashing towards us from the dark woods isn’t out mate Rape but a snake .

      An fire blindly in its direction hopeing to maybe hit it an kill it.

      Even all though we had the perfect kill shot a few momments ago.

      Anyone whom believes any of there shit needs a credibility transplant

      An if I wer this guy called Rape Id change my name an my friends an definetly not except any invitations to go camping in the woods with them..

    • cielo62 says:

      Trained Observer~ He should consider himself lucky he his “snake” wasn’t shot! LOL!


  11. Kate says:

    I don’t know if anyone is interested in child case law, but I have a great deal of interest in this case. The baby was finally taken from her father and whisked away by the people that were adopting her. The father, Dusten Brown, signed away his parental rights under false pretenses while on active duty. When he found out what had happened, he immediately went to his commanding officer and a lengthy court battle ensued for him to regain his parental rights and his child. Unfortunately, the courts upheld the adoption and forced Mr. Brown to hand the baby, that was living with him for 2 years, back over to the adoptive parents.

    I think this is a great injustice, not only for him, but for this child who was taken away from a loving home with her biological parent. This is a man who served and is serving this country, only to come home and have his child taken from him. I understand once you sign papers like this there are legal ramifications; however, I think there should be some type of compassion and understanding on the part of this couple. Instead they decided it is best to take her away from her father, step mother and sister. This is a great example of the greed and self serving interest that people in this country have when it comes to life. This child is not an object, but a person, a living being that is not to be possessed or coveted. There are so many children in this country that have no one, that are sitting in foster homes, or wards of the state with no one to love them or care for them. THis was not the only child in the world and I think it is a shameful act to do such a thing. If you agree please support this child being at home with her biological father and family.

      • cielo62 says:

        Kate~ There were no “false pretenses.” He willingly signed away his parental rights to the mother. She was left with no support so she had the legal authority to place the child up for adoption. In this particular case, I support the adoptive parents. Nothing I have read so far indicates the father was interested in marrying the mother and having an actual family.


    • bettykath says:

      Kate, Thanks for the links. This is new information about Veronica. I’ll sign the petition.

    • cielo62 says:

      Kate~ Also the adoptive family had the child from birth until she was 2 years old. They EACH had this child for about 2 years. It takes more than sperm to make a father. It didn’t seem that he was willing to be a father. Even when the child was “with him”, his parents did most of the child care. I can’t wait to read what the Prof will write about this case. Bettykath and I went round and round on this one, civilly. While I am SURE that many adoption injustice occur, I’m just convinced that THIS is one of them.


  12. kllypyn says:

    I know people who will be able to keep their current plan. It sounds like your company maybe trying to ,pull a fast one.

    • Kate says:

      I agree kllypyn. Companies like Time Warner and many others are kicking people off their health plans. UPS has said that they are removing spouses from their health plan, so that means if the spouse has insurance through their company then they use their own insurance, if the spouse does not have insurance then naturally the spouse will likely have to get on a govt health plan. Some of these actions are cost savings and some of them are, as you put it, “trying to pull a fast one” and being very underhanded about this law being put into place.

      • Hi kilpyn and Kate! Appreciate your comments, always.

        So I have no company or employer trying to pull a fast one, I’m self employed. In my situation thing comes off as just another tax and more bureaucracy.

        It’s Saturday night and time to partaaay, unless I fall asleep on the couch after a half a Budweiser!

  13. I have an incredulous “Affordable Care Act” story. One of the tenets of the President’s healthcare reform pitch was that if you liked your present plan, then you can just keep it and not use the new (coming this Tuesday) Gov’t healthcare exchanges. He repeated it like a mantra. So I thought I was cool.

    Then I got this in the mail from Anthem Blue Cross my provider today:

    “Thank you for choosing Anthem Blue Cross…because of the requirements of “the affordable care act” we can no longer offer your current individual health benefit plan. And will need to change to an ACA compliant health benefit plan, which will become effective January 1st, 2014″

    First, that word compliant pisses me off. Makes me wanna throw down..

    More importantly, that whole you can keep your plan thing was either a lie or an unintended consequence.

    Neither position is cool with the HamRadioElijah 😉

    Disclaimer: May it push us to the land of single payer..

    • bettykath says:

      Could be that Anthem Blue Cross was reading the requires in a way that suited them, not you.

      I agree with your disclaimer. The only “good” plan.

      • bettykath says:

        requires should be requirements

        • Hi Betty! I think it’s the other way around, the Federal Government wrote the law in a way that suited them. Blue Cross while a private for profit company, has provided me quality affordable insurance for a long time and I hit 50 soon.

          I could use the VA, but it’s sorta scary.

          I’m an anally retentive and diligent overseer of my families healthcare and financial security. I read everything as I’m the putz writing the cheques!

          I’m going to opt for a private plan and just pay more as long as I can. I certainly wish all health and healthcare, but I know how to keep my side of the street in order, tithe a % of my income to charities yearly and resent deeply this governmental intrusion.

    • Kate says:

      Most companies are doing this. I think it is more that they are cutting their cost and pushing individuals to get on a govt health plan. I believe it was an unintended consequence of Affordable Health and that many Republican based companies are actually punishing individuals indirectly for this Act being put into place.

    • dee truth says:

      I’m sure some people are getting a bad deal, but I imagine some policies may change, for the better. ACA requires certain coverage, like preventive care/screenings at NO COST/NO DEDUCTIBLE. If someone’s current policy provides for less than the mandatory coverage, then a policy change to become ACA compliant would be a good thing, I would think.

      • Two sides to a story says:

        I was just dumped a few days ago by CalOptima because my daughter is at university overseas rather than living at home and my healthcare coverage depended upon hers. And I couldn’t afford to go to the doctor even for anything small because my monthly share of cost exceeded my ability to pay – only if I had something catastrophic happen could I have used it. So I’ll be online Tuesday signing up for Obamacare. May it turn into universal coverage for all. After living in the UK for a year and experiencing their healthcare system, I feel we need the same thing. It’s not always a perfect system, but then neither is our system, even at it’s best. No one should have to worry about big medical bills or even dealing with the sniffles.

    • cielo62 says:

      HamRadio~ I think your provider took the opportunity to fuck you guys over. Blue Cross didn’t change mine. Single payer would be better.


      • Hi Cielo62 – Happy Sunday Actually my provider has been stellar by me. It’s the arrogance of ACA dictating what a policy can have and not have that changed my particular policy. I’m a progressive guy but this new law treats me like I’m a child who can’t take care of themselves, that’s what it feels like.

        I also learned in the military an important lesson, only I have the power to “fuck” myself. Business & government only make life more challenging. I’m up to it

        We shall see how it unfolds and plan accordingly!

        • cielo62 says:

          Ham Radio~ I think if the requirements more like guidelines of the MINIMUM standards. Kind of like the curriculum I use to teach. It states the minimum I must teach (and the kids must master) but it doesn’t prevent me from going beyond. I think ACA has that as a basis, exactly like the minimums for car insurance. But like you say, we need to wait and see how it shapes up.


    • Trained Observer says:

      I shop at Goodwills, especially when on the road, among my favorites being in St. Augustine, Fla., Boone, N.C., Johnson City, Tenn. Fits my budget just fine, especially for books and other non-necessities.

      But the fact is that Goodwill has become big business with a dark corporate attitude and profiteering side.

      This case is sad — the kid is only 19 and has offered to make restitution –, but it doesn’t surprise me. If this case goes to trial, hopefully jurors will tell prosecutors (and Goodwill) to shove it by dishing out an acquital.

      • Trained Observer says:

        Well, hot damn: ABC is reporting the Naples Goodwill folks have decided not to pursue this after all.

        (FYI, for leatherites from elsewhere, Naples, Fla. is quite the ritzy place with high per capita income and more golf holes than just anywhere else in Florida, but it’s also very close the migrant worker stronghold of Immokalee, which gives new definition to the word impoverished. I don’t doubt for a moment that the accused kid felt sorry for families coming in there to shop for a change of clothing. I’ve seen them and, while motivated to work and better themselves, they are poor with a capital P.)

    • cielo62 says:

      Rachael~ I just read this and left me SMH. I know the managers have the discretion to lower prices. I mean, everything they sell is pure profit since it’s all donated and the workers who prepare the articles are paid very little. These people in Florida are just stupid.


      • Rachael says:

        It just makes me sad. He’s a kid. His heart was in the right place, but he didn’t understand it is a business. I think it is fair for them to fire him. He took it upon himself to do what he did without getting permission or an OK from a supervisor, and that is how things work in the business world, but he didn’t to it to enrich his bank account. There was no personal gain in it. Firing him is more than enough. I am SO glad they didn’t press charges. He made a mistake. He meant well, but it was a mistake nonetheless. But to charge him with a felony and ruin a kid’s life would be totally unconscionable IMO. It would be a different story if he had done it for personal gain, but he didn’t. I’m sure he has more than learned his lesson and he will have a hard enough time getting another job as it is. No need to ruin his life. SMH

        I had actually posted this on an entry earlier (unfortunately it was Shellie’s thread so it got missed – but it was off topic) but someone did see it and replied with:

        This is just disgusting. I’m not sure how I feel about Goodwill anymore. Just damn sad.

        • If I had been his boss, I would not have fired him. I would have used the incident as a teaching moment to support his good intentions and teach him about the importance of being honest with me and his coworkers.

          Meanwhile Goodwill is a charity and should be giving some things away for free to those in need.

          Our local Salvation Army store has an extremely bad attitude I think because they prefer to destroy or throw away donations they do not believe they can sell instead of giving them away to the poor who cannot afford their prices.

          I think that is unconscionable for an organization that calls itself a charity.

          Anyway, glad they dropped charges.

          • Rachael says:

            Ideally you are right, they shouldn’t have even fired him and I wouldn’t have either. He learned a very tough lesson, but he could have had a gentler teacher. But the idea of pressing charges was totally insane.

          • looneydoone says:

            I know for a fact Goodwill and Salvation Army bundle up what can’t be sold in their shops and either auction it off to wholesalers in Mexico or ship it abroad (Africa). The *unsalable* clothing is sold to recyclers in bales.

            There was a great AmVets in Oceanside, CA. That store received donations from La Jolla, Rancho Santa Fe, Del Mar… half price on Thurs and Fridays. However one manager had a world class doll collection she exibited across the USA and Europe, and another had a fabulous jewelry collection and retail store which sold jewelry and accessories.

            When I’d get really frustrated at work, I’d threaten to quit and get a good, highly compensated job with Amvets…preferably as a collection route truck driver so I had first crack at the treasures 😉

          • Trained Observer says:

            And speaking of the Salvation Army … Until Recently, I had been unaware of the Salvation Army’s strong anti-gay sentiment.

            Apparently news of this surfaced a year or so ago and spread … giving the Salvation Army reason for concern as it busily back pedaled from comments made by one of its own.


          • cielo62 says:

            Trained Observer~ OMG! I didn’t know this! No more Salvation Army for me!


          • bettykath says:

            You’re right. The kid should not have been fired and the incident used as a teaching moment. While he needed to learn about his responsibilities to the organization, the management should have learned from him! He has the heart and empathy that the management need to adopt.

          • lady2soothe says:

            Many years ago I was the executive secretary to the Director of North San Diego County Salvation Army, Oceanside. Our main function was to place women in safe houses and work with them rebuilding their lives with free classes and job referrals. The office was ground level with storefront windows and one day a lady walked in and handed me a $10 bill, asking me to put it toward helping an abused woman with children.

            The Director wasn’t in at the time so I held onto the cash until she returned 30 or so minutes later. After she settled into her office I went in, handed her the donation and explained where it had come from and to what was requested it be applied to. The director smiled, held out her hand, took the money, and as she stuck it into her purse said “Good, I needed gas money”.

            A short time later I found myself and 2 children in desperate need of a safe house and because my abuser had an incredible knack for finding me I went to the Salvation Army in downtown San Diego about 40 miles south. What I discovered were the rudest self-absorbed condescending employees with holier than thou attitudes. We were placed in a room with 4 other mothers and children, 1 pillow provided per family, not per person, but 1 pillow per family and a single bed per family, regardless of how many people were in said family, many women with 5 and 6 kids.

            The downstairs cafeteria was marginally clean but the food was disgusting beyond belief. The bread was green with fuzzy mold and the lunch meat was green and pink-gray colored, extremely slimy and omitting the putrid stench of sulfur. I asked the cook why the food they were serving was moldy; I was openly scolded and chastised for being ungrateful along with the threat of eviction. I walked out; there was no way I would allow my kids to eat that ptomaine poisoning waiting to happen bacteria laden slop.

            I didn’t have much money, but enough to manage a little packaged coffeecake to split with my kids down at the 7-11 on the corner. I felt fortunate I didn’t have to subject them to meals of rotten garbage unlike many of the other mothers.

            Needless to say I went back to my abuser, at least we had a clean house and fresh food but because of the dirty shared pillows we all ended up with the worst case of conjunctivitis in the century. It took months to heal emotionally and physically and another year to leave to a real safe house.

            I will NEVER EVER donate, shop, support or have anything to do with the Salvation Army and I take every opportunity to tell people just what a horrible un-charitable organization they run.

          • Malisha says:

            Unfortunately, Vietnam Veterans is also a charity that is run by self-aggrandizing cheaters. It’s so demoralizing to give to a good cause and think well of them only to find out that they abuse employees and cheat the poor. HORRIBLE!

          • Two sides to a story says:

            I was once temporarily homeless – between homes when starting a new job and had a small toddler in tow. Salvation Army gave me a voucher for two nights in a motel without a blink of the eye – so my experience with them was good. I was saddened to hear about their stance on gay rights.

          • cielo62 says:

            Two Sides- I think Salvation Army posts are each an individual entity that are supposed to follow the same handbook. I remember reading about the Salvation Army in Galveston refusing to accept or to sell any Harry Potter materials. Tons of other Salvation Army stores quickly denounced it, saying it was not standard policy. Some anal fundamentalist decided that Harry Potter was Satanic and passed the law in his little kingdom. I imagine each store is a little fiefdom. Some are run well and others are tyrannical.

            Sent from my iPad

        • Kelly Payne says:

          I thought goodwill was a charity.

    • Kate says:

      They couldn’t reprimand him? They had to have the kid arrested????

      I used to volunteer at Goodwill as a student. I know a lot of the people that work there are “undesirables” trying to get back on their feet and turn there life around. Many of the volunteers are those that have to perform community service via court order. Although the items are donated, they become the property of Goodwill, so in essence he had not right to give away, take or sell anything, although it is all donated.

      But man, I can’t believe they would have this kid arrested. It just floors me house selfish, greedy and cynical society has become with people have very little to no compassion or understanding. I guess people don’t believe in karma. Throughout history people have been persecuted for trying to assist those in need. I suppose we can add this kid to the list.

  14. Justchill says:

    Well thank you, maybe, for the space to vent. Just had a funeral service last night for my mom, who lived to be 80 years old. She was cremated this morning. Are all families dysfunctional or is it just mIne?

    • Judy75201 says:

      Most are, but not all. Most, however. Take comfort in that (I know I do).

      • Hi, Judy.

        My heart goes out to you. I am an only child raised in an extremely dysfunctional family with an extremely unhappy, moody raging alcoholic mother and an emotionally absent father who refused to admit that she was an alcoholic as he supplied her with daily half-gallon bottles of vodka and smacked me around blaming me for her moods and temper tantrums. She also sexually abused me and promised to kill me if I turned out to be homosexual.

        Not sure why she was concerned about my sexual orientation, unless perhaps it had something to do with my dad.

        Whatever, it’s all water under the bridge. They died a year apart a little over 10 years ago. Father died of Alzheimers and mother died of cancer 4-5 years after suffering a debilitating stroke.

        I spent the family fortune and most of my money paying for their long term nursing care and visited them for about a week at a time, 4-6 times per year, even though I lived in Seattle and they were in Myrtle Beach, SC.

        I was fortunate to be present when my mother passed. I cradled her in my arms when she passed and kissed her cheek.

        Despite the misery, resentment and craziness growing up with two dysfunctional and abusive parents, I still loved them and I was able to finally reach a point of acceptance without any expectations. A kind of emotional detachment where I could see them in the context of their entire lives. It was like they became children again where none of the old buttons and psychological games worked. I became the strong forgiving parent and discovered who I really was. I healed myself in a way that no amount of therapy ever could have done by letting go of my past resentments and helping them face their uncertain future secure in my acceptance and forgiveness. I believe I helped them move on and avoid getting stuck between the living and the dead.

        I don’t know if anything that I said will help you get through this process, but I share my story with you and others here with the hope that you may find a way to tie up the loose ends that otherwise may manifest as continued resentments, guilt, or regret.

        We cannot change the past but we have the power to heal the wounds of the past and let it go.

        This produces an indescribable bittersweet relief and freedom to move forward.


        • Judy75201 says:

          I can’t describe how much this means to me, Fred. You and Crane are incredible people. I will read this many times over in the next days/weeks. And will respond more personally when I can. Thank you so very much.


        • shyloh says:

          Namaste’ Dear Fred,

          Life is a journey and hopefully all learn from those lessons and never repeat them in this life.

          Just a side note I am a spiritual healer. (Reiki Master) I wish all could learn the art of healing Spiritually, my business has increased because of the Obamacare. I am talking the poorest of the poor clients that can’t afford crap and depend on me to teach them how to heal themselves. It’s actually not a physically healing it’s Spiritual! Again Namaste’

          “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward.” Steve Maraboli

          “The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.” – Harry Kemp

          Thank you for sharing and it’s all good!!! shyloh

        • May I be half as good a son Fred.

          • shyloh says:

            Elijah, my daddy played a mean Banjo in his time! Visited your site. NICE!! I wish you the best ever. Keep up the good work! Or playing in your case ha!

    • cielo62 says:

      JustChill~ I don’t know about everybody, but mine certainly was. It took 5 years of therapy to get the tools I needed.


    • Rachael says:

      I think for the most part, most are. I know mine sure was. Still is, I guess. The bio ones are all dead, the step ones dumped me after their meal ticket died. Haven’t heard from them since. I find out what I can by googling.

  15. Judy75201 says:

    I am spending the weekend at my mom’s, being her caretaker. It has been so hard, with her dying, and with me finding out I do not have a very good bedside manner (too brusque, and not strong enough to move her gracefully/painlessly). It’s tragic how people can linger for so long, even tho they are ready to go.

    • Deborah Moore says:

      That is a tough one, Judy. Not wanting to let go. My family had to experience just that before my dad passed.
      We went to a play last weekend which dealt with fear and the audience was asked to write down their biggest fear. Over dinner afterwards, we talked about our fears and my husband said his is having a long, slow painful death. I hadn’t fully realized that about him. I patted his hand and told him that I wouldn’t let that happen.
      Courage, dear. And, patience.

      • Judy75201 says:

        Thank you, Deborah.

        • cielo62 says:

          I will keep you in my thoughts, Judy. I realized immediately what a blessing it was when my father died fairly quickly, just after having been moved home for in-house hospice care. He was moved into the bedroom @ 2:00pm. That caused him alot of pain even though he was heavily dosed with morphine. Two of my brothers were home with him, as well as mom. The rest of us decided to head to Walmart and get some supplies. I had been in town only 2 days and needed a few things. While we were away, I got a call from my brother that dad was gone. Just like that. Nobody in the room at the exact time except for Jake his dog. Quietly, in his own bedroom and with his dog. It felt right. I took consolation in that. I pray your mother has an easy transition. AND I pray for you to continue to have the strength to care for your mother until she is ready. Namaste to you.

    • crazy1946 says:

      Judy75201, Hang in there, you will find you have strength you were not aware of, brought about by this time of sorrow. Our thoughts will be with you….

    • Trained Observer says:

      Judy, lack of sleep and worry are also take a toll on you, making you perhaps more brusque than usual, if that’s what you are, although that may be just your exhausted perception.

      Hopefully, when your mom naps, you’ll take a short walk, get some sun, and (as Crane did back at the jail), you’ll listen for a bird. Take care.

    • Xena says:

      @Judy75201. So sorry to hear about your mom. From around November 2008 until February 2009, my late husband held on. The day he was told that it was okay for him to go on and that his loved ones would be okay, he took a deep breath and was gone.

      • Judy75201 says:

        Thank you, Xena. I’m sorry you lost your husband.

      • cielo62 says:

        Xena~ Honestly, I do believe that what some people are waiting for is permission or confirmation, that they can leave. It’s very hard to do, but it is the most loving thing we can do.I think with my dad, it was the trip home that gave him permission. All of his family was there, including his dog. It was OK.


        • Xena says:


          Honestly, I do believe that what some people are waiting for is permission or confirmation, that they can leave.

          Yes. That is what I learned.

    • fauxmccoy says:

      judy — i know how hard this is, just went through it a couple of years ago with my dad.

      don’t worry about your bedside manner, the important thing for both of you is that you are together, right now. there is no right way to get through this and it’s just hard, for both parent and child. one of the hardest things for me was that even in dying, my father was still being the best dad he could. the lingering is even harder though.

      the other thing i can tell you is that even when the end is near and it seems as if there is nothing but a shell of your loved one in the bed, they can still hear. it is the one sense we are born with and the one that we die with. talk, about nothing if you have to, whatever you are reading, read it out loud — it doesn’t matter what. i resorted to singing when words failed. i sang songs my dad and i had enjoyed in my childhood, for i did not know the songs of his childhood. on occasion, he gathered enough strength to squeeze my hand and that was enough.

      oh, there is real evidence to support that the music from the hammer dulcimer is particularly soothing for the dying. find some if you can. i am starting to work with a woman who goes to various rest homes and plays for them. it’s beautiful stuff.

      i wish you both peace in this process.

  16. Deborah Moore says:

    Good Morning, Fred, Crane and all faithful Leatherheads.
    Another Saturday morning with beautiful weather. The winds have died down, which makes me happy. There’s something about the negative ions that come with the wind that get me all icky. Just plain uncomfortable. Plus, the anxiety of possible wild fires fueled by wind makes me anxious too. But, not to worry now.
    Think I’ll make pancakes to celebrate.
    Namaste, indeed. I honor you Fred. (Bowing.)

    • crazy1946 says:

      Deborah Moore, Could you make enough that you could e-mail each of us a short stack of pancakes? Make mine with lot’s of butter and syrup… Darn it, now I’m hungry, and I had vowed that I was not going to eat much this weekend…. now I know they were right, the internet is bad for your health….. 😉

      • Deborah Moore says:

        I’d be happy to feed Everyone pancakes.
        I’ll make yours extra thing, like a crepe, to slide under your rock. 🙂

        • Deborah Moore says:

          Extra thin. Hmmmm. I wonder what I could add to the batter to make them “extra thing.” Ha.

        • crazy1946 says:

          Deborah Moore, Bless your heart! I think my plans for eating light this weekend are now blown out of the water…. But you know what they say, if you want to gain control of a man, all you have to do is put a little food in front of him and he will be putty in your hands… (or something like that) 😉

          • Deborah Moore says:

            And, honey, I love to cook. So, this works well for me.
            I had a friend at work who had two words for relationships.
            Feed ’em and f*ck ’em. Simple and basic, but not very nuanced.

          • Mojo says:

            Too funny! Feed em and Fuck em. From a woman who truly understands how simple men are (pun intended)

    • Two sides to a story says:

      The negative ions are actually the good ones that come with rain and are supposed to make you feel good. It’s the positive ones that come with drying wind that make you feel bad.

  17. colin black says:

    Have a great Satarday an weekend everyone.

    No word on the white widow but its my opinion the P T B want her as the new fifure head of terror.

    A female Bin Laden if you will she is mentioned any time terrorista attack as either being there in person.

    Or the architect an master mind behind it.

    This has a duell purpose creates a new bogey man/woman for the public.

    Plus pisses Muslims of as takeing orders from a Women does not sit well with there ideology.

  18. dianetrotter says:

    Are there medical detectors at professional sports events? It breaks my heart to see what happened to the 24 year old this week and the firefighter several years ago. This surpasses anything done by crazy soccer moms.

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